Attention to You
by zx14ninja
Summary: A new school year has come and Toushirou, finally free of his father, is ready to start anew with Ichigo at his side, but plaguled with nightmares and the coming of his cousin threated to destroy his fraigle stablity. Sequel to Attention to Detail
1. Chapter 1

Note: this is the _sequel _to my story, Attention to Detail, and if you have not read that then I highly recommend it otherwise some of the things I make reference to will not make sense, thank you and enjoy the story.

I do not own bleach in any way shape or form

_Thoughts_

"talking"

'talking on the phone'

* * *

Sweat soaked the bed of the distraught teenage boy as he lay trapped in a horrific nightmare. His tiny hands clenched the covers, face contorted with pain and fear, every muscle taught but strangely he lay utterly still and didn't make a sound as he suffered.

Finally a pair of teal eyes shot open in the dark and the boy sat bolt up right, released from his torments. Breathing ragged and uneven Hitsugaya Toushirou rested his head on his knees, trying to calm his pounding heart.

The nightmares were a weekly, sometimes daily, occurrence for the silver haired boy, and they had been since shortly after he moved in with his grandmother. They all featured the same two subjects, his mother's death and the abuse he he'd suffered at the hands of his father after his mother's death.

With a sigh Toushirou, deciding that going back to sleep was impossible, leaned over and flicked on the lamp on his bedside table, and then snatched up his drawing pad as he did so.

_School starts tomorrow, I really should go back to sleep,_ he thought as he absentmindedly began drawing on the page, not really paying attention to it as he did so, _oh well, it's not like it's the first time I've gone to school suffering from sleep deprivation._

Suddenly he stopped drawing, with a slight smile, he realized just what it was that he was drawing. Kuurosaki Ichigo often appeared in Toushirou's drawing and most of the time it was without Toushirou noticing until he was halfway done with the picture.

He closed his eyes as he thought about his idiot of a boyfriend. Without Ichigo Toushirou would be lost, the idiot was a solid rock amidst a raging river. It didn't matter when or where, if Toushriou need for any reason Ichigo would be there as quickly as possible. Which was part of the reason why Toushirou wasn't going to call his boyfriend now, sure, he knew that Ichigo would come running but Toushirou feared that if he was to needy that Ichigo would get fed up and leave him.

Glancing at the clock and seeing that it was one in the morning Toushirou decided, with reluctance, to at least try to get a few more hours of sleep before school.

* * *

Toushirou awoke again at six o'clock to the sound of his alarm beginning to go off, not that he needed an alarm, his internal clock consistently got him up at six no matter what day it was or how tired he was. When Toushirou had lived with his father his internal clock had actual gotten him up earler, at around four o'clock, to give him time to get out of the house before his dad got up, and it had taken months for him to adjust.

"Good morning Toushriou." called his grandmother as he slipped into the kitchen/dinning room where she was cooking breakfast.

"Good morning granny, can I..."

"Sit down and enjoy the morning? Yes, you can." she told him gentle but firmly, knowing that if she didn't Toushirou would do every chore he could find until it was time for school, the boy had no concept of laziness and would work himself to death unless told to sit down and relax.

"But my lunch..."

"Already made, you packed your bag last night and I am making breakfast so you might as well sit down."

With a soft sigh of defeat he sat down at the kitchen table and a few minutes later his grandmother put a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him. Toushirou was halfway through his meal when there came a knock at the front door and in entered that orange haired idiot that so captured his heart.

Said idiot looked slightly irritable this morning, probably because, unlike Toushirou, Ichigo had become accustom to sleeping in until nine o'clock in the morning at the very earliest. Sitting in a seat next to Toushirou Ichigo grunted out a "morning" and gave Toushirou a slight kiss on the cheek.

Granny raised her eyebrows at the normally cheerful teenager and Toushirou snickered.

"He's suffering from sleep withdraw." he told her and she laughed as she too sat down with a cup of tea.

"I see, well, can I get you anything Ichigo?"

"No, thank you, I had breakfast at my house." Ichigo told her as he glanced at the clock, "we had better go, Shirou, it's seven-thirty."

Toushirou nodded and quickly finished up his breakfast, grabbed his lunch and bag.

"Bye granny." he said as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Have a good day dear, and don't forget that your cousin is coming this afternoon."

carefully controlling his expression Toushirou nodded and quickly followed Ichigo outside.

"I'd forgotten that your cousin is coming to stay with you guys, whats her name again?" Ichigo asked as he climbed into the drivers seat of his car.

"Hinamori Momo, she the daughter of my dad's sister and for obvious reasons I've never met her before, but from what I understand her father's the head of a major business company and they're very rich." he told his boyfriend as he closed the passenger front door to the car.

Ichigo frowned slightly at Toushirou's words.

"How long is she staying?"

"Possibly just for the semester, but likely it will be for the whole school year, her parents are going on a year long business trip to Italy and they don't want her to have to go to a foreign school."

"What do you think about this?"

Toushirou shrugged, "granny says shes nice, if not a bit naive, so I figure that I'll keep an open mind and go from there, and no, she doesn't know anything about my previous home life and I don't plan on enlightening her."

The strawberry shook his head but had known that was what his boyfriend would say.

"What about us?" he asked

A grim smile came over Toushirou's face

"I will not hide our relationship and if she has a problem with it, well she won't be the first of my 'family' members to do so"

Ichigo flinched at his words, the image of Toushirou lying on the ground in the pouring rain, broken and bleeding flashed through his mind. They pulled up into the school parking lot and Ichigo quickly locked the doors before Toushirou could get out. Toushirou turned to ask him what the hell he was doing only to find his mouth occupied by with Ichigo's as the bigger male pressed his lips to the smaller's, gently exploring Toushirou's mouth with his tongue.

Toushirou was blushing slightly as they pulled apart. Ichigo tenderly stroked the other male's cheeked and murmured, "I realized that I head yet to give you a proper good morning."

Toushirou smiled, more grateful than ever that he had Ichigo by his side.

* * *

Author's note:

Hello my readers! My Attention to Detail sequel, I hope that you all will enjoy this one as much as the first part, that's really I have to say, so please review.

Thank you

Zx14ninja


	2. Chapter 2

After a heated make out session Ichigo and Toushirou reluctantly left Ichigo's car and went to meet up with their usual group of friends next to the large oak tree they sometimes ate lunch under. As they approached Ichigo could already tell that similar actives of making out had already been going on since he could see several flushed cheeks.

These days the only one not dating in his and Toushirou's group of friends was Chad, Rukia and Renji were together, Uryu and Orihime had been together since middle school, and just of last month Ikkaku and Yumichika had been caught kissing in the corner of a grocery store, not that any of them were surprised.

But if Chad minded being surrounded by a group of kissing couples he certainty didn't show it and they all made sure he was included in everything.

"Hey guys." said Ichigo as he sat down, pulling Toushirou into his lap.

"Morning Ichigo, we where just discussing our class schedules" Rukia told him. Ichigo nodded as he pulled out his own. He already knew that he and Toushirou had all of their core class together, Toushirou's therpyist had suggested it to the school in order to give the boy some stability.

The bell rang and there was the rustling of papers as the schedules were returned to their owners and the group split off to class.

Ichigo and Toushirou's fist class was History with Mr. Kyoraku and as they entered the classroom Ichigo could already tell it was going to be an interesting year given that the male teacher was wearing a pink flower kimono over his suit and tie.

* * *

"I hate Mr. Kurotsuchi!" Ichigo growled as he and Toushirou walked out of the school building and headed for Ichigo's car.

Toushirou smirked "It's only two chapters of reading you big baby."

"On the first day of school!" Ichigo moaned "And I can't even study with you!"

Toushirou sighed at the reminder of the long term visitor coming to stay with himself and granny.

As Ichigo pulled into Toushirou's driveway he turned and looked over at the boy he so loved.

"Want me to go inside with you?" he asked, Toushirou shook his head. "No, I think it would be best if she just meets me for now."

Ichigo nodded and gently kissed the smaller boy goodbye.

"Call me if you need me." he told the other in a stern 'you had better do as I say' voice that made Toushirou chuckle before nodding in agreement. He climbed out of the car and walked into the house, inside he could hear granny talking with an unfamiliar voice of a girl.

He silently made his way to the living room and stood in the door way for a few seconds, taking in his first sight of his cousin.

She was pretty he supposed, with a small build, but not smaller than his own, she had dark brown hair and chocolate eyes and was chattering animatedly with his grandmother.

Seeing that they had still not noticed his presence, unsurprising given how quite Toushirou could be when he chose, he decided to make himself known and stepped into the room with a slight cough.

The girl jumped at his sudden appearance while granny, used to his silent coming and goings, just looked over at him with a smile.

"There you are Toushirou." granny greeted and then glanced around him "No Ichigo today?"

"I thought it best."

Granny nodded "Well then, Toushirou, this is your cousin Momo, Momo this is Toushirou."

The girl jumped up from her spot on the couch and before Toushirou knew what was going on she bounded over and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

Toushirou's body stiffened, in his world only a few people were allowed to hug him, two actual, he would occasional let granny, but only Ichigo could hug him whenever he wanted to. Hell, Ichigo was the only one who was able to touch him without the small boy stiffening up reflexively. Now he had some stranger hugging him like they were long lost friends, sending poor Toushirou's stress levels through the roof, oh how he hated to be touched.

"Shirou-chan!" she cooed and at that Toushirou had had enough, he quickly disentangled himself form her arms and snapped out

"Don't touch me! And don't call me Shirou-chan!"

A hurt look crossed the girls face.

"Toushirou!" granny snapped out sharply and Toushirou froze again, in his experience that kind of tone usually signaled the start of a beating.

He quickly attempted to rectify the situation by blurting out an apology to the room at large

"I'm sorry!"

There was an awkward silence and poor Toushirou could feel his nerves about to break.

"Um...I have homework, so I think I should go get that done." he told the women in an attempt to make a clean escape.

"You have homework already!" Momo cried, sounding horrified.

"Its just the science teacher." he told her and then hastily left the room. Once in his sanctuary Toushirou sat down at his desk, pulled out his text book and tried to calm his nerves by reading the dry material.

He had just finished the first chapter and started on the second when his cell phone rang.

Snapping it open he asked "Hello?"

'I don't understand any of it'

Toushirou snickered slightly and leaned back in his chair.

"Uh, right I'm sure that these chapters would be to hard for someone who was ranked tenth in our class last year, Ichigo."

'Yup, you should come over and explain it to me.'

"Wish I could but given how my first meeting with my cousin went I don't think that's going to happen."

'That bad, huh?'

"She tried to hug me and called me Shirou-chan."

'Oh no, she one of those types...'

"Yup, and it gets even better, my reaction was to basically tell her to go to hell, and grandmother, she...she, yelled at me, s-she sounded like..." he broke off, struggling not to cry.

'Baby, are you sure you couldn't come over, or I could come over there, dad, Yuzu, and Karin wouldn't mind.'

Toushirou started to answer only to hear the sound of his door opening and he swiveled in his chair to see his grandmother enter, and his stomach clenched, was she still angry with him?

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm afraid I have to go, love you."

"Well, if you're sure, love you too, bye"

The phone went dead and Toushirou put the phone down slowly and faced his grandmother, muscles tight with fear, even though the rational part of him said that there was nothing to fear.

* * *

Author's note:

Another chapter down! In truth I don't have much to say other than to all that have reviewed thank you so much! And I hope you all have enjoyed this chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Granny quietly closed the door and went to sit on the edge of her grandson's bed. Looking at him she could see the tension in his limbs and the shadows under his eyes. She knew that this was a very bad time for Momo to come stay with them, what Toushirou desperately needed right now, even though he wouldn't admit it, was stability and most of all some parental love and attention.

Unfortunately Momo was used to being the only grandchild in her grandmothers life, she was used to being spoiled and would expect for that to not change now. Momo didn't need attention, she had two loving parent and for that matter two sets of loving grandparents that had given her plenty of attention all her life where as Toushirou had been deprived of that love and attention for most of his life.

Even though granny knew all of this she also knew that she couldn't just throw her granddaughter out to go to boarding school, to they would have to mange.

"Toushriou," she began and winced inwardly as the boy flinched, his poor nerves must be so frayed...

"Little one, I'm not angry with you, not in the least, and I'm sorry I snapped at you, you didn't deserve that, after all she took you by surprise, and I should have warned you."

Toushirou looked down at his hands which were folded in his lap.

"It's okay..."

"No, it's not," she sighed, "Momo is a good, sweet, girl but I'm afraid she's a little spoiled and thinks that every one in the world is her friend."

"So she likes attention, that okay I don't need attention."

_Yes, you do, _granny though but didn't say it allowed, he'd just deny it.

"Toushirou would you rather stay with Ichigo for a week or two? At least until Momo settles down, I'm sure Isshin wouldn't mind."

That was very true, Ichigo and Toushirou spent so much time at each others homes that they had two sets of clothes and toiletry at each others houses. But Toushirou knew that going over to Ichigo's would only make things easier on him in the short run and much harder in the long run.

"No, I just have to get used to it."

Granny nodded "Well dinner's almost ready so we might as well make a reappearance."

Toushirou sighed but followed her to the kitchen.

Momo more then make up for Toushirou's lack of conversation at the dinner table as she chattered about everything from her old school to her parents. He felt a twitch of jealousy every time she talked about her loving parents that had clearly sheltered her from any pain in her life. Momo was the picture of innocence, she was untainted by sorrow and suffering, her skin unblemished by the remnants of nightmarish beatings, while he was covered in them, forever tainted, forever marred, ugly.

Finally it was over and he once again retreated into his room. After finishing the chapter assined he turned to his drawing pad. His therapist called his drawings therapeutic, drawing as it was the only way he could really seem to express himself and his emotions.

Letting his hand wander over the page he had completely lost himself in this drawing, a rather sad picture of a boy standing alone in the rain, when he noticed the time, ten o'clock and decided to at least try to get some sleep.

* * *

The next morning Toushirou awoke from another restless night at five o'clock and decided not to even try to go back to sleep. He silently slid out of his room with his uniform in hand, and into the bathroom. Once there he turned on the shower, waited until it was warm enough, stripped off his pajamas and stepped into the down pour of water.

After a few minutes of simply letting the water simply flow around him he reluctantly left the shower, dried himself off and then his reflection in the mirror caught his attention. The sight of the scars that covered his naked frame sent a flash of pain through him and Toushirou dressed quickly to hide his shame.

He left the bathroom and moved int the kitchen where he started to make breakfast, finding comfort in the familiar movement of doing a chore.

"Up already I see, I'm not surprised"

Toushirou glanced over his shoulder and smiled at the old woman.

"Good morning granny."

His grandmother and decided not to scold him about making breakfast, instead she sat down at the table and watched the boy's graceful movements around the kitchen he pancakes. The comfortable silence between them was broken by a chipper voice calling out.

"good morning grandma, Shiro-chan."

Toushirou bit back the automatic response of 'it's Toushirou' and simply nodded at her in greeting. Turning back to the pancakes he had just flipped them over when he heard a familiar knock at the door.

* * *

Author's note

Sorry for the short updated, my finallys are coming up soon but after next week is my break, so hopefully my chapers will bet a little longer thanks for reading hope you enjoy it.

Zx14ninja


	4. Chapter 4

"I'll get it" Momo chimed at the sounded of the knock, leaping up before either Toushirou or granny could tell her not to bother, Ichigo had a key and would let himself in.

"Oh!" she cried as she ran into the strawberry at the kitchen doorway. Ichigo, somewhat startled by the girl's sudden appearance automatically caught her to prevent her from falling.

Then he smiled at her "Hi, you must be Hinamori Momo, I'm Kurosaki Ichigo."

Momo giggled, actually giggled, and Toushirou felt his anger and jealousy rise, but pushed it back, after all, she didn't know that Ichigo was taken.

"Nice to meet you Ichigo, you must be a friend of Toushirou!" she flirted innocently.

"Boyfriend actually." Ichigo told her and Momo blinked, clearly taken aback.

"Oh! Sorry, I-i didn't realize..." she giggled again, nervously.

Ichigo shrugged "Naw, don't worry about it." then the strawberry turned his attention to Toushriou, smiling again when he saw that his beloved was making pancakes. Walking over Ichigo came to stand directly behind Toushirou, wrapping his arms around the boy's slim waist, kissing him softly on the cheek and neck.

"Good morning." Ichigo whispered in his ear as Toushirou rested against him.

"You're early" Toushirou murmured as he relaxed into Ichigo's arms, feeling the tension leave him.

"I was worried about you."

"I'm fine."

Ichigo sighed, his small boyfriend was obviously not fine, given how tense he seemed but before he could argue Toushriou gently pulled away, brandishing his spatula threateningly.

"Anyway, you are preventing me from finishing making breakfast, now shoo!"

Ichigo laughed and held up his hands in mock surrender as he went and took a seat at the kitchen table. A few minutes later Toushirou gave everyone two pancakes each.

"Wow Shirou-chan!" Momo gasped as she put a syrup covered piece in her mouth, "you're a really good cook!" she exclaimed and the strawberry nodded in agreement. Toushirou blushed and looked away, embarrassed by the sudden complement.

By the time they had finished breakfast it was time for the teenagers to go to school.

"Have a good day!" Granny called as the three of them hurried out the door.

Once at school Ichigo and Toushirou took Momo to meet their friends which they found in their usual spot under the oak tree.

"Hey Toushirou!" Renji called when he saw the silver haired teen approaching them, "come here and help me understand what this stupid text book is saying."

Rukia shook her head, "I've been trying to explain it to you for the past ten minutes." she said with a sigh and then noticed the unfamiliar face with the to boys.

"Everyone this is Hinamori Momo, my cousin." Toushirou introduced.

"Its a pleasure to meet you all!" Momo said, smiling at them all happily. After the introductions Toushirou gave a quick explanation of last nights homework before the bell rang and they all headed to class.

* * *

"Hello class!" said Ukitake from the front of the room. Toushirou and Ichigo glanced at each other with slight smiles on their faces. They had Ukitake for literature again this year but instead of having it after lunch they had if for their second period, right after Kyorkau's.

Momo and Rukia also happened to have this class as well so the four of them had grabbed seats in the back of the room.

"We have a new student today, if you would like to introduce yourself, Momo." continued the sickly man. Momo stood up and shyly walked to the front of the class.

"My name is Hinamori Momo, it's nice to meet all of you."

The class greeted her and Momo went back to her seat.

* * *

Toushirou sighed softly as he, Ichigo and Momo made their way to their third hour class. Health was by far Toushirou's least favorite class.

The class was supposed to make teenagers aware of not only physical health bu mental health as well. Issues such as drug use, bullying and child abuse would be discussed. Toushirou honestly didn't think he could handle having the situation that had been his life dissected and analyzed by people who really had no idea what it was like.

Walking into the class room Toushirou immediately grabbed Ichigo and dragged him to the back of the room, Momo following behind. Why did she have to be in this class as well? They only had two classes together, this on and Ukitake's but Toushirou wished she has any other class but health with him.

One other reason why Toushirou dreaded heath was the teacher, not that he disliked Mrs. Matsumoto, acutely he felt that there could be no better teacher for this subject, the problem was that Mrs. Matsumoto was also his therapist.

Author's note:

* * *

I know I know, I promised a longer chapter, but then my cousins came to visit and if you knew my cousins you would understand, trust me. Besides that I really wanted to leave this chapter here :), anyway, thank you to all who have reviewed

Zx14ninja


	5. Chapter 5

Matsumoto Rangiku worked as a part time teacher at Karakura high and the rest of the time as a therapist. Toushirou knew that she would never tell the whole class about his former life at him, but it still made him nervous to have her as a teacher.

With a smile the busty woman entered the class room and, with sparkling eyes, began to write on the chalk board.

"Today we will began on nutrition..." she began enthusiastic. Toushirou let out a sigh of relief, even though Matsumoto promised to let him know when they began the unit on child abuse he had still felt fearful of the topic being sprung on him.

* * *

For Toushirou the next few days where a blur of tiredness. His insomnia was getting worse, to the point were granny was considering putting him on sleeping pills just so he could get a goodnight rest, the only problem was that the pills might actually make his nightmares worse.*

The other thing that was wearing him out was Momo. One night he was sitting in his room studying when the girl came bursting into his room.

Toushirou looked up in surprise while Momo frowned at him.

"This is supposed to be grandma's room!" she said, sounding slightly confused and angry.

Toushirou blinked, when he had first moved in with granny he had tried to sleep in the other rooms in the house but his claustrophobia had made it impossible for him to even attempt sleep. In the end granny, since she had the largest bedroom in the house, gave him master bedroom with a smile and assurances that she didn't need a big room anyways.

_Not that it did any good, _Toushirou thought, oh how he wished his was with Ichigo. The two spent the night at each others houses at least twice a week and he desperately missed the comforting presence of the larger male.

"Granny's down the hall now." he told the girl with a sigh as he pulled his wondering thoughts back to the here and now.

"You kicked her out of her own room?" Momo suddenly yelled.

Toushirou flinched, his heart began to pound, he didn't like it when people yelled at him, in his world yelling equaled beating.

"No, I-I..."

"It's not okay for you to come here and kick Granny out of her own room! Its not like you own the place! Don't be a spoiled brat!"

"Momo that's enough."

The two looked up to see granny standing in the doorway.

"Why don't you call Ichigo and see if you could spend the night at his place Toushirou."

Toushirou nodded and quietly left the room. Once he was gone granny turned back to Momo.

"He's claustrophobic, Momo, we switched rooms because all the other rooms in the house are just too small for him." the old woman told her and Momo had the grace to look ashamed.

"I didn't know, I'm sorry." she murmured as she looked at the floor.

"I'm not the one you should apologize to dear."

* * *

Tears threaten to over come Toushirou as he pressed the speed dial button on his phone. It rang for a few minutes before Ichigo picked up.

'Hello?'

"Hey Ichigo." his voice cracked

'Toushirou? Is everything okay?' the concern in the strawberry's voice was evident.

"Y-yeah, I just...can I spend the night? I mean I know its kinda late and all..."

'I'll be there in ten mintues.'

Toushirou smiled "Thanks"

'Anytime.'

The phone went dead and Toushirou settled down on the couch to wait.

"Um, Shirou-chan?"

Toushirou's body stiffened, he hated that nickname. Carefully controlling his temper he turned to face the young girl.

"It's Hitsugaya" he snapped at her a little bit more harshly than he intended.

Momo suddenly sighed frustratedly.

"Look, what is your problem?" she snapped back, "All I've done is be nice to you and try to be friends even though you showed up out of no where, and you act like a jerk and give me the cold shoulder!"

Immediately Toushirou became defensive, "I never asked for you friendship!"

Momo burst into tears

"I don't know why I even try!" she cried before she turned and fled. For a few seconds Toushirou stood there looking after her, then he bolted to the door. Outside he stumbled over the front steps and ran into something solid.

* * *

Author's note:

I know, not only did I not update last week but this update isn't exactly long, sorry.

*I have no idea if sleeping pills can give you nightmares or not, I tried to look it up on line and couldn't find a conclusive answer. Sorry if I am wrong (which I'm sure I am), but it sounded good for my story, so there you go.

Anyway thanks for reading and thanks to all that have reviewed

Zx14ninja


	6. Chapter 6

A pair of arms wrapped around him, trapping him in an iron embrace. Panic seared through him as his father's insane face flashed through Toushirou's mind.

"No!" he burst out as he fought to free himself.

"Toushirou!"

He froze and looked up into the concerned brown eyes of Ichigo. All of the adrenaline left him, leaving weak and unable to stand. Ichigo supported him over to the car and carefully helped him inside.

They rode to Ichigo's house in silence. Toushirou closed his eyes and attempted to control his emotions. Once they were safely in Ichigo's room Toushirou suddenly flung himself into the strawberry's arms.

"Shirou..." Ichigo murmured as he stroked the boy's silky hair.

"'m sorry, I just..." horror went through him as he broke down crying. A large hand gently cupped his cheeks and lifted his face upward, thumbing away his tears.

"I thin we've had the discussion about not apologizing when there's no reason for you too." Ichigo joked, smiling at his boyfriend lovingly.

A slight smile came over Toushirou's face

"Yeah, I think we have."

Ichigo pulled Toushirou down onto the bed and held him close.

"So whats up?"

"Ichigo, am I...a spoiled brat?"

"What? Where the hell did that come from?"

Toushirou bit his lip "Momo called me a spoiled brat because I took over granny's room..." he told the strawberry in a soft voice.

Ichigo sighed "Oh, Shirou, you're a lot of things but a spoiled brat isn't one of them."

"But..."

A hand was gently pressed to his lips.

"Trust me, please?"

Toushirou nodded and Ichigo held him close, thinking about all the ways he was going to kill Momo later.

* * *

"So how are things going at home?"

The prodigy shrugged at Rangiku's question. It was his weekly therapy session with her and as usual he was reluctant to talk.

"Ok, I guess. Better than when I was living with dad, so I can't complain."

"So the fact that a strange girl moved in with you doesn't bother you at all?"

He looked away murmuring "She has the right, I am the stranger who has taken away her grandmother."

Rangiku sighed, Toushirou's logic could be a bit odd at times and working around it wasn't easy.

"You're both her grandchildren right?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"Then you both have the right to her attention."

Toushirou closed his eyes.

"It's not that simple."

"Why not?"

"Momo's Mother isn't a disappointment to Granny and besides Momo had know Granny for a lot longer than I have."

"So? That doesn't mean she's better than you."

The little one didn't respond. Rangiku sighed again and glanced at the clock.

"Well it looks like we're out of time, but think about what I've said."

Toushriou nodded "See you tomorrow Matsmuoto."

"See you then."

Rangiku watched the small boy leave with a worried look on her face. She had no idea what she was going to do with the small boy who seemed so intent upon hiding his feelings form the rest of the world.

* * *

Author's Note:

Is it just me or are my chapter lengths shrinking again? Sorry about that. I wish I could say that it was going to get better, but in truth I have know idea so please just bear with me. Thank you to all that have reviewed

Zx14ninja


	7. Chapter 7

A few months after the fight with Momo found Toushirou in the same position as before. The tension between Momo and himself was almost unbearable.

Two weeks before winter break brought chilling winds, snow, and the beginning of the unit on bulling , harassment, and child abuse. Harassment and bulling Toushirou could handle, however he didn't know how he would react to the sensitive subject of child abuse.

He felt Ichigo's hand tighten on his as they entered the classroom and not for the first time Toushirou wondered what he would do without him. They sat down away from Momo as Toushirou didn't think he could deal with her chatter.

Matsumoto entered the classroom much more solemnly than she ever had before. She paused, gazing out at the bright faces of her students, but her eyes went to Toushirou's grim set face. Finally she sighed and turned to the chalkboard.

"Most of you have loving parents or guardians that love and care for you above all others." she began and she heard murmurs of agreement and a few sullen voices stating the opposite. She turned back to face the class.

"But there are a few children who have never gotten a hug from their Mom, or an 'I love you' form their Dad, children that have only know fear and pain for most of their lives."

A shot up into the air.

"Yes Momo?"

"I don't understand. Why would anyone hurt their own child?" she asked, sounding confused.

"Who cares?" came a harsh voice suddenly, and everyone turned to look at Toushirou.

"It doesn't matter what their reason is! The why is unimportant!" he told her.

Momo frowned, "That isn't what I meant! What I wanted to know was how could anyone bear to hurt their own child!"

"Oh, grow up! The whole world isn't full of rainbows and butterflies! Pull your head out and take a good look around!"

Momo's face turned red from anger and embarrassment.

"Yeah well I hope you never have children because you would probably be one of the people that would abuse them!"

The blood drained from Toushirou's face and quite suddenly he felt sick to his stomach. An image of himself holding a crowbar in his hands, eyes as insane as his father had been on that horrible night, rose before his eyes.

Oh gods, he was going to be sick.

Clamping a hand over his mouth Toushirou stood, knocking over his chair with a loud clatter, and bolted from the room, ignoring both Matsumoto's and Ichigo's calls. He didn't stop until he had retched a bathroom stall. Once inside Toushirou fell to his knees and began retching violently, hot tears pouring down his cheeks.

He heard the sound of hurried foot steps on the tile floor but it only dimly registered in his head. He felt a large hand begin rubbing soothing circles on the small of his back.

"Easy, baby, take it easy, you're all right. . . ." came the soft murmurs of Ichigo's soothing voice in his ear.

Slowly Toushirou manged to gain enough control over his body to stop the endless vomiting. As he sat back on his heels he looked up to see those brown eyes he so loved ready to swallow him hole with love and affection.

With a muffled sob of anguish Toushirou collapsed into Ichigo's welcoming arms. He serious could not deal with this, not a year after his father's arrest, not a year after the beating that haunted his dreams. To make matters worse it was getting close to winter break and . . . it was simply to much for him to handle.

His body trembled and he was racked with dry sobs but for some reason no tears came. His breath started coming out in short gasps and Toushirou heard Ichigo curse.

"Calm down Toushirou!" Ichigo said in a panicked voice, as he listened to Toushirou hyperventilate.

"Breath slowly." he commanded as he rocked Toushirou. Toushirou, hearing the fear in his boyfriend's voice, forced himself o clam down, to breath. Slowly but surely his breaths returned to normal and the violent tremors subsided.

Once Toushirou's breathing had returned to normal Ichigo helped him clean out his mouth and they left the bathroom in silence. They were part way back to class when Toushirou stopped and began shaking again.

"Toushirou?"

"I can't . . ." he whispered

"Can't what?"

Toushirou looked over at Ichigo, his eyes wide as he choked out, "I can't go back in there, I-I just can't! Please don't make me, please . . ."

The panic in his voice was evident and Ichigo quickly wrapped his arms around him.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay, we're not going back, I promise, I'll go in, get our things and we'll head to my house. Alright?"

Toushriou nodded, finding himself unable to speak.

* * *

Ichigo slipped quietly into Matsumoto's classroom to find that she had returned the class back to the lesson. As Ichigo walked in she looked up from what she was writing on the board. Their eyes met and understanding passed between them.

Matsumoto nodded, letting him know that she would take care of the rest. As Ichigo quickly gathered up his and Toushirou's thing he felt a hand catch his wrist. Glancing up he came face to face with Momo.

Her eyebrows were creased with worry.

"Is hie okay?" She whispered. Ichigo shook his head, pulling his hand harshly out of her grip.

"No, he's not." he growled before he quickly turned and left the room without a backwards glance.

* * *

Author's note:

First I would like to a dress what I meant with Toushirou says the why of child abuse doesn't matter. I feel that there is absolutely no excuse for a parent to abuse their child, I don't care what their excuse is. As for Momo's attitude, keep in mind she had no idea that Toushirou had been abused, I am trying really hard to make her seem naive, not like she is intentsionaly trying to hurt Toushirou. I have a feeling that I haven't succesed.

Also I would like to say a happy, day late birthday to my reviewer, Yogi, who requested that I update yesterday for their birthday. As you can see I did a great job of that didn't I? Sorry about not updating for you're birthday Yogi, but I hope you had a good one :)

Anyway, thank you to all that have reviewed, it means a lot to me.

Zx14ninja


	8. Chapter 8

The car ride to Ichgio's house was silent, as Toushirou struggled to regain some amount of composer over himself. The two boy's were just as silent on the way into Ichigo's bedroom.

Ichigo's mind was whirling with thought. On one hand he was angry with Momo for yelling something so insensitive and cruel. Toushirou didn't deserve to be put on the same level as people like his father. But on the other hand, Momo didn't know the horror's of what Toushirou had suffered, Toushirou himself had made sure of that.

Toushirou was the one that had provoked Momo in the first place. Her question hadn't intended to suggest that it was okay for parents to abuse their children. Had Toushirou just let it go the fight probably wouldn't have happened and Toushirou wouldn't have been hurt.

As the silence stretched out longer and longer Toushirou got the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that Ichigo was mad at him.

"Ichigo . . .?" he asked tentatively. The only response he got was a soft sigh as Ichigo looked out the window.

"You're mad at me. . . ." Toushirou whispered, feeling tears spark in his eyes. Finally Ichigo turned to face him.

"Not so much mad as a little disappointed. I mean did you really have to shout at her about the question? You couldn't just let it go?"

_Let it go._ The words resounded in his head. _Let it go. _A sob caught in his throat, as his mind warped the words Ichigo had just said. Making it seem like his worst fears had come true, that Ichigo was tired of him, that Ichigo's patients had finally reached its limit.

"S-she's right isn't she." Ichigo froze at the sound of Toushirou's voice.

"I never . . ." Ichigo began, realizing that some where along the line his own words had become twisted, and wanted desperately to correct the error. To late. Toushirou let out a sob, fleeing from the room.

"Toushirou! Wait!" Ichigo called but Toushirou was already running down the street, blinded by the tears pouring out of his eyes.

* * *

"Dammit!" Ichigo cursed. That was not how he wanted the conversation to end. Hell all he wanted was for Toushirou to think a little bit about other peoples feeling. Now that he thought about it, he honestly hadn't gone about that in the best way either, since he knew how sensitive Toushirou was.

Ichigo sighed. _Tomorrow, I'll apologize to him tomorrow after we've all calmed down. _

* * *

Toushirou burst into his grandmothers house at full speed. He bolted up to his room, closing the door behind him. Leaning against the door for support he began to cry silently, body shaking with the sound less sobs.

Through his blured vision he could see all the pictures of Ichigo he had drawn. Toushirou snapped. Moving forward he began tearing the images off the wall one by one until the last one, which was the first he had hung on his wall. With trembling hands he careful took down the picture and held it to his chest. He laid down on his bed.

Gazing at the picture Toushriou curled up into a small ball of misery and pain.

_I hope you never have children because you would probably be one of the people that would abuse them! _

The words rang inside his head, cutting him to the core. The door to his room slide open, not that Toushirou took notice, until he felt a withered hand stroke his soft white locks of hair.

Toushirou closed his eyes at the comforting feeling. His emotionally exhausted mind shut down as he drifted into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Momo glanced at the closed down to Toushirou's room as she walked pasted it on the way to the stairs as she headed to dinner. Biting her lip she felt guilt well up inside her. Toushirou had come back home an hour ago in a near catatonic state. He hadn't come out of his room since Granny had left him alone to sleep.

She really hadn't intended to say what she said. She truly hadn't, it just sorta came out. Judging by the way Toushirou came home he and Ichigo had also gotten into a fight, which was probably because of her.

Closing her eyes she clenched the smooth wood railing. She was going to have to find someway to fix this mess her own nativity had caused. That in mind Momo headed down to dinner, resolving to pry some answers from her aged, but tough Grandmother.

Momo found that the dinner table was only set for two when she entered the dinning room. Frowning slightly she wondered where Toushirou was.

"Grandma?"

The old women turned away from the stove to see her granddaughter standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Oh, hello Momo, I'm afraid Toushirou's not feeling well."

Momo looked away from her Grandmother. _I caused this. _Her resolve strengthen, she refused to be a naive child anymore. Especially after Ms. Matsumoto's lesson on child abuse. The lesson had been an eye opener really. Up until then Momo's life had been ridiculously sheltered.

"Grandma? Can I ask you something?"

There was a pensive quality to Momo's voice, causing Granny to pause. Looking up once more at her granddaughter.

"Of course you can."

"Where are Toushirou's parents?"

Granny closed her eyes, sitting down with a sigh at the kitchen table.

"You'd better sit down dear."

* * *

"_Mommy!" the small, silver haired boy laughed as he raced towards his equally silver haired mother. His mother turned to meet him. The woman smiled, laughing as she caught him in her arms, holding him close. _

"_So tell me Toushirou, how many lives have you ruined today?" her voice was light as she asked the question. But as Toushirou looked up at her he saw to his horror that blood was beginning to drip from her face. Blood began seeping in through her clothes. The blood soaked into his own clothes until he was covered in it. _

_Toushriou tore away from the woman with a cry. He began to run only to be stopped by a familiar voice. _

"_Why are you running away Toushirou?" _

_Turning around Toushirou found that Ichigo was standing a few feet away from him. _

"_Ichigo . . ." he breathed. Heart pounding. _

"_You really are a coward."_

_The words felt like a slap to the face. Toushirou flinched, but Ichigo wasn't done. _

"_I mean, seriously, all you ever do is run away and leave me to take care of your problems. Honestly I'm sick of it! Why don't you take care of yourself form once!"_

_Tears poured from Toushirou's face as he watched his beloved Ichigo began to change before his eyes. His beautiful Ichigo transformed into that sicking image of Toushirou's father, except for the eyes, his eyes remained the chocolate brown. Instead of those eyes being comforting and warm they were insane, filled with a hatred aimed squarely at Toushirou. _

With a gasp a pair of teal eyes flew open in the dark and the tears began to flow silently down his cheeks as despair and anguish took over his enter being.

* * *

Author's note:

Sorry about Ichigo kinda being an jerk. At least this chapter is longer than the ones I had been writing!

Anyway thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Zx14ninja


	9. Chapter 9

With trembling hands Toushirou reached out and manged to find his phone on his bedside table. Tears blinded him as he pressed the speed dial button. His heart thumped in his chest as he listened to the ringing. _Please pick up, please, I need you, oh gods I need you, _he silently pleaded. There came a loud beep and then Ichigo's deep voice saying, "Hello, you have reached the number of Kurosaki Ichigo. Sorry but I can't find my phone right now so leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I find the damn thing."

Another loud beep sounded and to Toushirou's utter horror he let out a choked sob, then stammered out, "Hey Ichigo, it's me. I know I shouldn't be calling, I just really need to hear your voice. . . . S-sorry."

He hung up quickly to prevent himself from making anymore of a fool out of himself then he already had.

Wiping his eyes Toushirou glanced over at the digital clock. Seeing that it was only one O'clock in the morning he laid back down in an attempt to go back to sleep. Finally he sat back up, turned on his lamp and pulled out his drawing pad.

Turning to an empty blank page he allowed his mind to go blank as he let his hand draw what it will. Halfway through he froze as he found himself looking at that familiar face with that ever caring smile.

Toushirou felt his heart crack. A desperate driving need came over him as he looked up to find that the room around him was closing in on him. Threatening to suffocate him. He had to get out of the house. NOW!

After he hurriedly dressed he crept silently down the stairs and out the front door. Toushriou paused just long enough to write Granny a note and pick up his backpack.

The cool morning air hit him as he stepped out side, helping to clear his head as he walked briskly down the side walk to school.

As was to be expected the school grounds were deserted, but having no where else to go Toushirou went to sit by the tree where he had first seen Ichigo. Sinking down he rested his back against the tree trunk. Pulling his knees to his chest Toushirou wrapped his arms round his knees and rested his chin on them.

He could feel himself braking into little pieces. A part of himself questioned why the hell he was out here, alone, in the dark and frightened. Burying his face into his knees tears streamed down his face. Toushirou honestly didn't know what to think anymore, all he knew was that his center might be gone and he wanted it back. He wanted Ichigo.

Shivering from the anguish caused by the though of losing Ichigo, Toushirou found himself drifting into a state of being not quite awake yet not asleep either.

He came back to himself only when he felt something brush lightly against his shoulder. Slowly Toushirou looked up, blinking, and realized the sun had risen. Glancing around for what had pulled him back to himself he looked up to see a concerned Ms. Matsumoto bending over him.

"A little early for you to be here Toushirou." she told him gently. Toushirou looked away, cheeks burning with shame.

"Does your Grandmother know you're here?" she asked.

"I left her a note." Toushirou whispered. He was feeling more ashamed of himself by the moment for being so selfish. How could his do this to Granny? Disgust weld up inside himself as he realized that Granny must be worried sick, and Ichigo, how could he call Ichigo like that?

Rangiku saw the look in his eyes. Lightly putting an arm around his shoulders, she pulled him to his feet and then guided him up the steps into the school.

Unlocking the door to her room and turning on the lights Rangiku pushed her student down into a chair. She then went into her office and picked up her phone. It rang for a few moments before someone answered.

'Hello?' came the slightly breathless voice.

"Mrs. Hitsugaya? This is Rangiku. I just wanted to make sure that you knew Toushirou's here with me at the school."

There came an audible sigh of relief.

'Oh thank goodness, I was so worried.'

"He's fine, just a little confused and upset."Rangiku told her soothingly.

'He's had a rough few days, go easy on him.'

"I'll do my best."

Hanging up the phone Rangiku sighed as she turned to look out her office window into her classroom. Toushirou was still siting in the chair looking positively miserable. With a sigh she went to stand in front of him and crossed her arms.

"I know," he said suddenly in a thick voice, "I'm mussed up and I'm really sorry. It won't happen again." he promised, carefully hiding his eyes so she wouldn't see his tears.

"Yeah you did screw up, you didn't think about the people that care about you at all." Rangiku scolded. Toushirou nodded in agreement.

Rangiku sighed again as she slowly knelt in front of him.

"So do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

For a few seconds he said nothing but as Rangiku watched a few more tears trickled down his pale face.

"Ichigo and I got into a fight . . . and I . . . I was selfish." he said finally.

"How so?"

"I didn't listen to him, and I was selfish when I shouted at Momo. I just feel so alone and I know I'm not, I know I'm just being selfish but I can't handle her, I try but I feel like I'm breaking into pieces. I think I'm jealous of Momo!"

"I knew this was all happening way to fast." Rangiku said. Toushirou looked up at her in surprise.

"Listen, it's okay to feel this way, it's okay to be jealous of Momo, you're only human."she told him

Toushirou looked at her with something akin to disbelief in his eyes but before she could say anything else the bell rang signaling the start of class.

Hastily wiping his eyes Toushirou stood.

"I should get to class." he said rushing out the door. Rangiku watched him go with a worried look in her eyes.

* * *

Toushirou hesitated slightly when he reached Kyouraku's class. He knew sooner or later he was going to have to face Ichigo and the sooner the better, but still his heart clenched at the though of the up coming confrontation. He was still hesitating when a familiar voice rang out.

"Toushirou!"

Dread came over him as Toushirou slowly turned.

"Ichigo" he whispered, throat dry, mind numb.

For a few seconds they stared at each other. Toushirou was the first to look away. _He hates me, _Toushirou thought with despair. He was about to turn and leave when two strong arms wrapped around him.

The warning bell sounded as soft lips pressed against Toushirou ear and whispered.

"I love you, we can talk about the rest later."

Toushirou thought he was going to faint. His legs began to shake and threaten to give out on him. _Ichigo forgave him_ it was the one thought his frayed mind could process. Suddenly the pent up tension and fear that had been keeping him going left, leaving him surprisingly weak.

Ichigo caught him as his legs buckled, the world swam before his eyes. Vaguely he heard Ichigo calling him but Toushirou didn't have the strength to answer, then everything went black.

* * *

Author's note:

Ichigo: What the hell Zx! Toushirou just collapsed and you're going to leave it at that!

Zx14ninja: . . . no, I'm not going to just leave it at that.

Ichigo: Oh, so there still more to the chapter? Then why the Hell are we sitting here blabbing to your readers when they could be finishing the chapter?

Zx14ninja: No the chapters done, I just meant that I'm not going to leave the story here, there will be an update next week.

Ichigo: But then why the Hell . . . Oh, never mind, you make absolutely no sense.

Zx14ninja: neither do you.

Ichigo: I make a whole lot more sense than you do!

Zx14ninja: Oh yeah? Well . . .

Zx14ninja and Ichigo: (both are hit over the head) OW!

Toushirou: Shut up both of you and end this ridiculous chapter so are readers can get on with their lives!

Zx14ninja and Ichigo: Yes sir

Zx14ninja: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and thank you to all who reviewed.


	10. Chapter 10

When Ichigo had awoken this morning to find Toushirou's desperate message on his phone he knew that he had made a mistake not immediately going after Toushioru and straightening out this whole mess. Toushirou sounded so heartbroken, so utterly rejected that it was all the strawberry could do to keep himself from rushing over right then and there. He dressed quickly and shot out the door with only muttered 'morning' to his confused family.

Ichigo arrived at Toushirou's house an hour earlier than normally. Hastily he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. Rushing inside he found a worried looking Granny hanging up the phone in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry Ichigo, he's not here." she said when she noticed him standing there. Ichigo looked down at her in surprise. What did she mean Toushirou wasn't here? Without waiting for an explanation he ran through the kitchen and up the the stairs to Toushirou's room.

Pulling open the door Ichigo found it to be worse than he had imagined. The wall were bare of pictures, devoid of the warmth it had once held.

"Ichigo?" came a soft voice behind him. Ichigo turned to see Momo.

"Look, whatever fight you two had, please don't be angry with Toushirou, its my fault." she told the strawberry.

Shock went through Ichigo as she continued. "I didn't know about the horrible things that had happened to him, but more than that I didn't want to see it. I was naive." she admitted. Ichigo sighed.

"Yeah, you were, but still, you couldn't have known." he told her.

Turning back to the room with its now bare walls Ichigo murmured "I have to find him."

He then turned again and ran past Momo, back down the stairs only to run into Granny.

"He's with Ms. Matsumoto and I think you should let her talk to him first." she told him firmly.

"But . . ."

She shook her head, "He's in a fragile state of mind, let her take care of it. In the mean time why don't we all have breakfast."

Ichigo let out a sigh but could tell it was a lost cause. Sitting down at the table he resigned himself to the situation. He ended up taking Momo to school and the two sat in silence on the way up, neither comfortable with the other.

"Hey where's Toushirou?" Renji asked as they walked up to their friends, "I need his help with the science assignment!"

Rukia on the other hand glared up at Momo. Momo flinched under her stare.

"I heard that Momo said something in Ms. Matsumoto's class that upset him." she said bitingly.

Momo looked away, a few tears in her eyes.

"Lay off her Rukia." Ichigo said sharply as he sat down. Rukia glared at him but held her tongue. An awkward silence descended over the group. Finally Ichigo couldn't take it any more, patience had never been one of his strong suites, and he needed to find Toushirou.

Standing up he gave a short goodbye to the others as he headed off to class just as the bell rang.

Instinctively he went to his and Toushirou's first class. Somehow he just knew Toushirou would be there. He caught the prodigy hesitating on the classroom threshold.

"Toushirou!"

The boy turned and as he exhausted blue-green eyes met Ichigo's he knew exactly what to do. Gathering Toushirou up into his arms Ichigo said the words he knew Toushirou needed to hear.

"I love you, we'll talk about the rest later."

What Ichigo had not anticipated was Toushirou collapsing in his arms. Catching the dead weight, calling his boyfriends name, Ichigo slowly sank to the ground. Panic seared through him.

"Help! Someone!" he called out when he failed to wake Toushirou.

"What's all the noise out here?" Looking up, Ichigo found that it was Mr. Kyoraku standing in the doorway. The teacher frowned when he saw Toushirou.

"What happened?" he asked as he knelt down next to the two boys.

"I don't know, he just collapsed!"

Kyoraku placed his hand on Toushirou's forehead and found that he had a slight fervor, but more than anything the boy looked worn out.

"Why don't you take him to the nurse office and see what she says, but I think he's just tired."

Ichigo nodded and gently picked Toushirou up, rushing him to the nurses office. It turned out that Kyoraku was correct in his assessment of Toushirou's condition. Ms. Unohana gave him permission to take to Toushirou to his house while she informed Toushirou's grandmother.

Toushirou didn't awaken during the drive home, nor did he stir when Ichigo tucked him into his own bed, in fact it was several hours later before Toushirou showed any sign of awakening.

With a soft moan he awoke and sat up slowly, looking around confused by his surrounding. Ichigo watched him from the door way and after a few seconds made his presence known by walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. Toushirou looked up at him.

"Ichigo? What happened?" Toushirou asked in a slightly dazed voice. Ichigo smiled and pulled Toushirou into his lap.

"You collapsed right after I told you that I loved I love you." he told him, "Exhaustion and stress finally seems to have caught up to you."

Toushirou nodded, burying his face into Ichigo's shoulder.

"You know Shirou, I never meant that I agreed with what Momo said, only that you shouldn't have provoked her in the first place."

"Yeah, I know that now, but at the time, I didn't want to think about anyone other than myself."

Ichigo shook his head. "Oh Shirou, honestly there's not a selfish bone in your body, you just don't always see things the same way the rest of us do. You tend to see yourself at fault first."

Toushirou looked up at his boyfriend the confusion evident in his face. Ichigo cupped his face with his hands.

"You accept more than your fair share of blame, love, you're quick to see the worst in yourself and entirely overlook your shinning greatness."

Ichigo leaned forward and rested his forehead against Toushirou's.

"That's why both Granny and Mrs. Mastumoto feel its best that you stay with me until Momo leaves."

* * *

Author's note

Phew! I got sick last Monday and it last through the entire week, thankful we had snow days up until Thursday, so I didn't miss any school but I wasn't up do doing homework on Thursday, needless to say I had a ton of homework for this weekend and almost thought this wouldn't get posted. Thankfully I got my homework done and found time to post this.

Thanks the reviews,

Zx14ninja


	11. Chapter 11

Stay with Ichigo? For a second elation filled Toushirou's heart at the thought, but then his stomach clenched. Wasn't this running away? Ms. Mastumoto had told him over and over again not to run away from his problems. Running away only made the problem worse when it came time for him to face it.

"I can't stay with you Ichi," Toushirou whispered. He felt the strawberry's arm tighten around him.

"Why not?" Ichigo asked. Toushirou swallowed and refused to meet his boyfriends eyes.

"If I stay here with you then it will be like I'm running away and I can't do that. Besides, its not fair to you or your family for me to impose myself on you."

Toushirou let out a startled squeak as Ichigo suddenly swept him off his lap and onto the bed, pinning Toushirou's wrists against the pillow above Toushirou's head. Situating himself so that Toushirou's legs were between his knees and he leaned over the small boy.

"Ichigo what . . ." Toushirou began as he looked up at Toushirou in surprise. Ichigo smiled, an odd look in his eyes as he spoke.

" You're a complete and utter idiot sometimes, you know? It's okay if you're not ready to face this, it's okay if you don't know how to handle any of this, it's okay for you to be a bit selfish at times. What you've gone through is something that's not going to heal over night, so, it's okay for you to need more time to heal."

Tears glistened in Toushirou's eyes as he listened to Ichigo. Ichigo placed one of his large hands on his cheek, gently brushing away the tears that had begun to fall down his face.

"Shh, it's okay if you need to cry."

Stupid, stupid Ichigo. He wasn't going to cry, he truly wasn't but that stupid strawberry had to go and say something that would completely undo him.

With a weak sob Toushirou raised up his now free hand and pounded weakly on Ichigo's chest, tears now pouring down his face.

"You . . . stupid . . . baka . . ." Toushirou sob incoherently. Ichigo just smiled.

"Yeah, I know, I'm an idiot for making you cry."

Toushirou nodded at his sentiment, tears still pouring down his face.

"But that's okay, because I'm here, I'll always be here for you. I'll never leave you no matter what."

"You'd better be," Toushirou spat angrily, or tried to, "because I don't know what I'd do with out you."

Ichigo just smiled that same infurating, gentle, loving smile. Toushirou felt the dam holding back his tears break.

* * *

It was early when Toushirou woke up, six o'clock to be exact, which was early on a Saturday according to Ichigo. Smiling softly he looked over at his orange haired idiot. Ichigo was dead to the world, he looked particularly funny with his thumb in his mouth.

Toushioru smiled at him, leaning forward he kissed Ichigo's forehead gently. Carefully, so as not to wake him, Toushirou slid out of bed. He tiptoed across the room to Ichigo's desk, quickly wrote out a message on a piece of paper, then got dressed.

Silently he left Ichigo's room and went down the steps. He was almost to the door when a voice called him back.

"I never took you for someone that would leave a person alone in the morning Toushirou."

He jumped, startled by the Isshin's sudden appearance. For a few seconds he just stood there, trying to get his heart rate back to normal. Only once he had calmed down did he speak.

"I'm not leaving him, Isshin, there's just something I have to do on my own."

"And this is something that can't wait until Ichigo is a wake so that he at least knows where you're going?"

Toushirou shook his head, and turned to face Isshin.

"No, it can't you see if I tell Ichigo where I'm going he'll try to change my mind. But this is something I _have _to do on my own."

Toushirou looked directly into Isshin's eyes letting the man see his determination, his resolve. Isshin sighed and Toushirou knew that he's won.

He turned back to the door, slide his shoes on and grab his coat. As he reached for the door, Isshin called out to him again.

"What should I tell him when he wakes up?"

Toushirou paused, hand on the door knob.

"Tell him I've gone to face my fears."

"I hope you know what you're doing."

Toushirou sighed as he opened the door.

"So do I."

Then he stepped out into the street and closed the door.

* * *

Author's note

Owwww, my head _hurts, _I'm going to go do something that doesn't involve thinking. Hope you enjoyed the update. Thank you to all who have reviewed!


	12. Chapter 12

The streets of Karakura were nearly empty as Toushirou made his way through them in the cold winter breeze. For once he almost wished that the streets were bustling with activity, then he would at least have a way to distract himself from what he was about to do.

Toushirou's stomach clenched. The temptation to turn back and run to the safety of Ichigo's arms was nearly overwhelming. But Toushirou knew if he did that he'd never move on, that he'd always be wondering if . . . he shook his head, no, it was best not to finish that thought.

He continued onward until finally he reached a grim building, surrounded by a fence with barbwire at the top of it. He almost lost his nerve, then he saw Ichigo's face and heard his voice whispering softly in his ears.

Subconsciously his back straighten, as his resolve strengthened. Taking a deep, calming breath, Toushirou steeled himself, then walked up the steps.

* * *

Ichigo awoke to find himself alone. Sitting up he glanced around, searching for his boyfriend. Failing to find him Ichigo unwilling decided to get up, even though it was only six-thirty.

He got dressed at a sluggish pace, grumbling about being up so early on a Saturday morning. A folded up piece of paper on his desk with his name on it caught his eyes as he went to leave the room.

Carefully he unfolded it, his eyes scanning the contents.

_Dear Ichigo, _

_Sorry about leaving on such short notice, but there are a few things I need to take care of on my own. Don't know when I'll be back but I promise to explain everything then. _

_Love, Toushirou_

Ichigo frowned at the vague note. _What in the world? _

"He told me to tell you that he's gone to face his fears."

Looking over his shoulder Ichigo found his father standing in the doorway.

"What do you men he's gone to face his fears?"

Isshin shrugged.

"You'd know better than me."

Ichigo's mind whirled. _Gone to face is fears? But that would mean . . . ! _

"Shit!" the word exploided from Ichigo's mouth as he realized where Toushirou had gone.

"Ichigo! Watch your lang . . . Whoa!"

Isshin dove out of the way as Ichigo flashed past him.

"Where are you going?" he asked as Ichigo pulled on his shoes.

"To the jail, that's where Toushirou's gone!"

"To the jail? But why would . . ." Isshin stopped as relization hit him as well.

Ignoring his father Ichigo was about to rush out the door when Isshin called him back.

"Hold on Ichigo! This is something Toushirou feels he need to do on his own!"

"I know! But at the very least I can be waiting for him when he gets done! He'll need me then!" Without another word Ichigo darted out to his car.

Sighing Isshin shook his head, "Good grief, was I ever that stubborn?"

* * *

His stomach was twisting itself into a million knots as he sat waiting for his turn to speak with his father. Toushirou swallowed thickly, he hadn't seen his father since the trial where his father had been sentenced to twenty years in prison.

"Toushirou Hitsugaya? You may speak with him now."

He took a deep, calming breath as he stood and followed the police guard to the room where visitors were allowed to speak with prisoners. His father was already sitting behind the plexiglass. Slowly Toushirou sat down, his piercing blue-green eyes fixed on the man that had turned his life into a living Hell.

Toushirou picked up the phone, watching as his father did the same.

'I didn't think you'd want to see me.' came the raspy voice.

"I don't. However I need to say a few things to you."

His father waited patiently for him to speak.

"I wanted you to know that for the last year I have hated you, hated you for everything you've done to me. Hated how because of you I can't get a good night's sleep, because every time I looked in the mirror I see someone ugly and worthless." Toushirou stopped

"Yeah, I figured as much . . ."

"I'm not done! I've hated you, but now I realize that you're not worth the effort anymore than you're worth my fears, or my peace of mind."

'Are you offering my forgiveness?' his father asked, incredulous

Toushirou snorted, "Hell no!" he snapped. His father looked almost sad.

"But I don't hate you anymore, I guess you could say I'm indifferent."

'That's more than I deserve.'

"You're right, it is. But this is about what I deserve, and I deserve to be free from your shadow."

His father nodded in understanding. Toushirou started to stand then stopped.

"Did you ever love me?" he asked. His father paused for a moment looking into his son's cerulean eyes.

'Yeah, so-Toushirou, Yeah I did.'

"Then why did you hurt me?" Toushirou screamed, anger evident in his voice.

'I don't have an answer for you, except that you're mother would be much more proud of you than she would be of me.'

Toushirou closed his eyes "I forgive you." he whispered

His father looked up at him in shock, speechless.

"I forgive you, but after today I don't ever want to see or hear form you again. We will never have a father-son relationship, or any other kind of relationship for that matter, you lost that right."

'I understand.'

"Goodbye."

'Goodbye . . . son.'

Toushirou hung up the phone, and left without a backward glance.

* * *

Author's note

Hey guys! Sorry for not updating last week, there was an anime convention where I live and I was dead tired after that. Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter, I know most of you probably don't agree with Toushirou forgiving his father, I just believe that holding on to anger and hatred like that doesn't to anyone any good. Does Toushirou's father deserve to be forgiven? NO! However for Toushirou to find peace he need to face him and let go of his anger and fear.

Now for confession time, the truth is that I don't have chapter 13 already written like I normally would. So that means that there might not be an update next week. I know what the chapter is going to be about but if I don't get a chance to write it than obviously there can't be an update. But I swear to you guys this story will not be abandoned!

Thanks to all who have reviewed

Zx14ninja


	13. Chapter 13

He felt weak stepping would of the jail building. Like all the energy he'd had was sucked out of him. Leaning against a street light in front of the grim building, he panted. Toushirou wished Ichigo was here but that wasn't going to happen. Eyes closed he rested his head against the cool metal of the street light.

"Ya know, when I said that you didn't need to face anything until you were ready, I did mean it."

Toushirou's eyes flew open, then tears pricked in them as he turned to see Ichigo standing behind him.

"Sorry for leaving you like that, but I needed . . ."

Ichigo placed a finger on his lips.

"Shh, you don't have to explain."

Toushirou flung his arms around Ichigo's neck. Ichigo held him close.

"Thank you" Toushirou whispered in his ear.

"For what?"

"For being here, for waiting."

Ichigo smiled, carrying Toushirou to the car.

Climbing into the drivers sit Ichigo had just started up the car when Toushirou caught his wrist. Ichiog gave him a puzzled look.

"There's one more thing I need to do."

* * *

Momo sighed as she stood in her room. Granny had already told her that Toushirou would be staying with Ichigo from now on. Her stomach clenched guilt, while she knew it wasn't entirely her fault that Toushirou was moving out she was still a major cause of it.

When Granny told her about Toushirou's home life before he came here Momo had been shocked. Then the relization of exactly what she had said to Toushirou hit her and the real guilt set in. Now here she stood trying to decided what would be better, staying or leaving to join her parents in Italy.

There came a soft knock at her door, jolting her out of thoughts.

"Come in!"

The door slowly opened to reveal Toushirou. Momo's eyes widened at the sight of him.

"Shir-Toushirou. What are you doing here?"

Toushirou looked down at his feet, taking a deep breath.

"I'm here to apologize, I haven't been the friendliest and I should have told you about my situation."

Momo's jaw drooped. _He was apologizing to her?_ This was not how it supposed to go, she should be apologizing to him, not the other way around!

"You don't have to apologize to me Toushirou! In fact I should be apologizing to you!" Momo told him.

Toushiro sighed, "It's both are faults really, mine for not telling you the truth and yours for not noticing something was wrong."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." she said softly.

An akward slience spreed between them then Toushirou spoke again.

"Listen Momo, Granny said you were thinking about joining your parents in Italy, and well, I don't think your should."

Momo looked at him sharply. "But . . ."

Toushirou raised his hand. "Look, I know we got off to a rocky start but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. I'm not going to let my past get in the way anymore, so please, stay."

Momo smiled, "Alright Toushirou."

Later that day Toushirou and Ichigo sat on the roof of Granny's house, watching the sun set.

"You know Toushirou, I'm really proud of you today for facing your fears and talking to Momo. That took a lot of courage."

Toushirou looked up at Ichigo, then snuggled into Ichigo's arms.

"I couldn't have done it with out you, you baka"

Ichigo laughed as the sun when down.

* * *

Ten Years later

"Ichigo! Get up! You're going to be late!" Toushirou called as he stood with his hands on his hips at the foot of the stairs to his and Ichigo's two story houses. There came a muffled groan from the bed room and Toushirou rolled his eyes.

In the years that had passed he, Ichigo and the rest of their friends had grown up, gone to collage and moved on with their lives.

Ruka and Renji had married and had a few kids. Renji was fireman, an occupation that make Ruka both proud and worried at the same time. They had moved out of Karakura a few years back but Toushriou and Ichigo still heard from them often.

Uryu and Orihime had also married and had kids but they stayed in town. They had even opened up their own restaurant (Uryu did most (all) of the cooking).

Ikkau and Yumichika were still together to the best of their knowledge. He had no idea where those to had run off two, although he had rumors that Yumichika had become a fashion designer over in America and Ikkau was working as a martial arts teachers.

Chad on the other hand had of all things opened up his own toy store in Karakura. His store was by far the favorite toy store in town and all the children absolutely loved him.

As for Toushirou and Ichigo, Ichigo had gotten a medical degree and had taken over the clinic when Isshin retired. Toushirou had become a free lance artist. They had moved in together after high school. Several years after moving in together Toushirou suffered a devastating loss when Granny died. But her death was s peaceful one and she had lived a good long life.

Momo had ended up finishing high school in Karakura. She and Toushirou grew to be as close as sibling. The two still kept in close contact.

"Ichigo! Get you're lazy ass out of bed now!" Toushirou barked. Marching up the stairs when his lover failed to appear.

No sooner had he opened the door to their bed room and stepped inside when suddenly he was picked up and thrown onto the bed.

Toushirou sat up, glaring at the orange haired man who was bent double with laughter.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, I'm going to kill you!"

Ichigo just smiled at him.

"How as you're sleep last night love?" the orange haired man asked. Toushirou growled at him.

"Fine and don't try to change the subject!"

"I was just wondering since you didn't take any sleeping pills."

Even after confronting his father Toushirou still had problems sleeping at night years later. Supposedly a few years ago Toushirou's father was released from jail, but true to his word Toushirou had yet to see hide or hair of the man.

"I don't think I need them anymore."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. Walking over to the bed he pulled Toushirou into his arms.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, its easy to sleep now that all I dream about is you."

"You have no idea how corny that . . . ow!" Ichigo rubbed his arm where Toushirou smacked him. Toushirou glared up at him.

"That's for being an ass!" he growled. Then his face softened, reaching up he captured Ichigo's lips. They broke apart a few minutes later, breathless.

"And that's for being there for me."

Ichigo held him close.

"Anytime love, anytime."

Ichigo looked out their bedroom window as he spoke and saw that the sun was rising.

The end.

* * *

Author's note

Well . . . I don't think I can get much cornier, well I suppose I could but . . . still that was pretty corny. Anyway I hope you have all enjoyed Attention to You and thank you so much to all that have reviewed! It's because of you guys that I write this stuff! Until next time

Zx14ninja


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